Category: Blog

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap,

if we do not give up.”

~Galatians 6:9

            In the words of William Penn, “Right is right, even if everyone is against it, and wrong is wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it.” Where in society did this go?  In politics, we hear voters say the pendulum has swung too far left or too far right and we need to swing back towards the middle. My question is where is the middle? When people think Hamas are the “good guys” and young people question their sex and how they were created by the Almighty God, I am sorry, but something is wrong.

            In Washington State as well as other states, there were people trying to disrupt the process of counting the votes. I wonder how we got here as a society. As a culture, are we so concerned about finding compromise that we’ve lost our ability to recognize right from wrong? Perhaps instead of asking ourselves where the middle ground is and how to we get back there, we need to ask a few different questions:

            What do I believe? This may seem like a common-sense question to most, but how many of us actually take the time to examine this? The next question, while it may be a “rub” for a minute or two is meant to cause reflection more than anything and it’s this.

Do I want to be part of the problem or part of the solution? This doesn’t mean we have to agree on everything, but that’s my point. When did we lose the ability to think or ask questions? Asking questions to investigate, or questioning isn’t “bad” it’s when we don’t question or have a spirit of curiosity anymore is where it becomes dangerous.

So where do we go from here? Let me leave you with this hope. While we are in a political war right now and while some of the topics brought up in this blog were made into “political” issues they are also issues of the human heart. We often know what the right thing to do is (mostly), it’s following through doing the right thing that is the hard part. There will always be evil here on earth, but if we’re willing to examine ourselves and ask the tough questions, then good can triumph over evil!

John 8:32 And you will know the truth,

and the truth will set you free.

            The disabled community often accepts the idea that the government can help create a life beyond their reach. Improving life is valuable—disabled or not—if you don’t raise your own bar, someone else will. Being successful and happy individuals is dependent on us, not the government. Being diagnosed with a disability has taught me many things, but raising my own bar to create the life I desire is just one of them. I’ve noticed the disabled community collectively tends to accept lower standards when it comes to governmental policy (state or federal). When we get involved in who is in “control” then the “government” has less of a role to play in our lives; you as the individual will have more responsibility determining your success and happiness.

            The question then becomes, how do I get involved in the “who’s in charge”? Equipping the disabled to see their own potential for opportunities rather than the government is the best way to make sure we have a role with who’s in control. Being involved in politics or helping a candidate get elected may be a vital step in moving forward with that goal.

5 things to know when helping a candidate or being involved in politics:

1. Know your values: Make sure your values are in the decision-making process of who you decide to stand with for a candidate. The candidate you decide to support should  embrace a majority, if not all of your values. What do you stand for?
2. Know there WILL BE opposition: It’s vital to have a strong spine in order to withstand all the lies that will come against the candidate AND YOU. I’m heading into four years of being heavily involved in politics. It’s nasty and brutal. People you thought were for you and who you support may be against you and whoever you stand with. Are you willing to be called names or have your disability or business used as a weapon against you?
3. Be willing to be the student: I know within my hearts of hearts that changing minds, hearts, and attitudes is my calling. The platform I’ve been given to do that is through speaking, writing and how politics influences how much we as a society do, or do not do to raise our own bar. I’m being surrounded by “teachers” right now including the candidate himself. I try to have more questions than answers. I watch. I listen. I absorb. I become a sponge. Are you teachable?
4. Have fun: While being involved in politics isn’t fun all the time, it feels good to know I’m making a difference and being a voice for a community who has been told that being a “victim” is their only choice. I’m hopefully proving that relying on oneself and gaining confidence within yourself by forming an actual community is important.
5. It’s NOT about you:  If you do decide to get in the realm of politics, please remember it’s not about you. It’s about leaning into your goals and whatever your objectives are.

Supporting a candidate may be the first step of many to building a world where you expect more of yourself and those around you. Ultimately, the lessons learned along the way, disabled or not, will be worth their weight in gold.

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living.

The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

~Mark Twain

From the minute I was born, I was not allowed to look at myself as a victim. This quote by Mark Twain is how my siblings and I were raised. It was and still is the one and only lens I was given to be able to view my life with a disability through.

            I try to live a “society owes me nothing kind of life.” This attitude can and will look different depending on an individual’s desire to give instead of receiving. This doesn’t mean I don’t ask for help, or that I’m not expecting a positive outcome when I receive the help I desire. It does mean I’m required to put in an all-out effort to whatever I decide I want or need to do with my life and not use my Cerebral Palsy as an excuse to have everything handed to me.

            In my view, the attitude of some in society is, “give this to me because I’m . . .” you fill in the blank. Like Mark Twain, I believe that no matter your race, background, color, ethnicity, religion, or disability; we have all been given a chance to succeed or try again if we live like no one owes us anything.

We Don’t All Get a Trophy

            “No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.” To me, this quote by Max Lucado can be taken two ways. No one is perfect, so don’t try to accomplish everything in one day. We can, however, all do one thing per day to get us closer to what we want to achieve. The second way to view this is we ALL have limitations, disabled or not, but all of us can contribute. However, I feel that sometimes contributing should be enough for people and it’s not.

            In my opinion, the attitude in society has gone from let me contribute (which should be our attitude) to an attitude of I want it, so let me have it despite whatever our limitations are. For example, there were so many times when I was applying for work as a preschool teacher where the work had to be spread out among everyone, so no one felt overworked. There were parts of the position I was going to NEED to physically accomplish in order to fulfill my duties and if I couldn’t do what was required of me, I wasn’t going to be hired. I was OK with this. In my mind, if you can’t compete like you’re expected to then feel what you want to feel, but move on to your next competition in life.

            Lastly, if you DO get the chance to compete in whatever life throws your way, but maybe not to the full extent as everyone else, be grateful for the chance to compete at all. Don’t ask for more just because you feel you deserve it. Sadly, we as a society live in this mindset now where we all think where’s my trophy? Instead of thinking when’s my next competition? My challenge for all of us is to find joy and satisfaction in the pursuit of competition even when the trophy isn’t within our reach!

For more of The Wheel Truth, take a look at my book!

            We live in a society today where being a victim at times is notable. We need to realize if we don’t play that deck of cards for ourselves, others won’t either? I’m too fat, therefore, I’m a victim. I’m not smart enough, therefore, no one will hire me. My personal favorite is I have a disability, so treat me as such. When we play the victim card, we lose out on so many opportunities for our futures.

            While I don’t play the victim card very often, I will say it has been easier to function as one for these last two years as I’m sure it has been for us all. There have been built in low expectations and excuses—Covid won’t allow this. Let’s remember, Covid excuses won’t be here forever.

What do I do when the victim mentality wants to take control of me? I reflect on how blessed I am. I remind myself daily that what I do, I have control over. I may not be able to walk, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be a productive member of society. I graduated from high school and college. I worked as a preschool teacher for four years and am now a published author and building my business in speaking.

            How do you prevent yourself from being a “victim”? This is the perfect time of year to practice gratitude. Remember what you have and be thankful. Remember who you are and what you’re capable of.

In the words of Steve Maraboli, “The victim mindset dilutes human potential. By not accepting personal responsibility for our circumstances, we greatly reduce our power to change them.”

Go into 2022 being victorious instead of victimized!

For more like this check out Carley’s book: The Wheel Truth: Don’t Just Survive, Learn to Thrive!

            In the words of Ronald Reagan, “Christmas is a holiday that we celebrate not as individuals, nor as a nation, but as a human family.” To me, this quote means no matter what holiday you celebrate you as an individual take the focus off of yourself and put it on someone else or something else that furthers thankfulness, love, and gratitude. Here’s three ways my family and I remember the true meaning of this season.

            We gather as a family and give gifts. Giving gifts for our family isn’t about “me.” It’s about the other person. What does this person need or desire? My family and I aren’t in need of anything, but I think something most gift givers forget is it doesn’t have to be a big screen TV or a brand-new car! It could be as simple as a box of chocolates. When you give a gift, this season remember who it’s for.

            My family has also had my home is your home policy. We look for friends who may not be as blessed as we are and invite them over for Christmas dinner. We deepen our relationship with them and let them know they’re loved and wanted.

            Our church also helps give back as a family as well. We participate in an organization called Operation Christmas Child, where we buy gifts for other children from extremely poor countries and place the gifts in shoe boxes. This program is run by Samaritan’s Purse which is founded by Franklin Graham.

            How are you going to remember the reason for the season? What are you grateful for? What do you focus on this time of year and how will you influence going into 2022?

Living with a disability, I learned very quickly that my voice could be my best ally. However, I didn’t always use it because sometimes I foolishly thought what I planned to do with my life didn’t matter. I believe the exact opposite now. Does the way you grow up influence your plan? Does society influence your decisions made in your life? What about your family or friends? The answer is yes to all of the above, but your voice is, and always will be your biggest ally.

            Throughout my life, I’ve always had little and big goals, but I didn’t always talk about them when I was young because sometimes my goals didn’t match my IEP (Individualized Education Plan-Teachers and other staff use this plan to help students with disabilities be the most successful in school.) My disability also ensures that certain government agencies right now have a say in how I live my life and what I pursue. I’m working extremely hard to change this. How? I use my voice to build my business, write a book, and now even in politics.

            What I found is your voice is your ally, not your enemy, but you can’t be afraid of the repercussions. You have to think of your voice as the powerhouse it is and the blessings that come with it. For me, it’s a new way of thinking and doing. My success if due to a new life full of productivity and possibilities-all because I learned to use my voice! How will you use your ally today and everyday?

For more ideas and inspiration check out Carley’s book: The Wheel Truth: Don’t Just Survive – Learn to Thrive!

In society, as a general rule, we may struggle with three questions. Who am I? Where do I belong? What are my values? For me, the hardest question growing up was where do I belong? On one hand, finding my community as a child was pretty easy because in a way it was built in. I automatically became part of the disability community the minute I was born. As a child being part of a like-community was a saving grace because I knew that no matter what I was going through there was someone going through the same thing. However, I’ve found it harder to be part of the disability community as an adult because our needs, wants, as well as our overall direction for our lives change.

As a child in school, I had classmates I completed projects with and played with at recess, so my community was there. However, once junior high and high school rolled around it was much harder. My classmates were involved in sports and other activities. I couldn’t take part in physical activities. I had to figure out how to be part of the team without actually being part of the team, so instead I ran the scoreboard for basketball and attended every football and wrestling match I could to cheer on the teams to victory. I found ways to be part of my community.

College life came in the fall of 2006 and I was quickly on my own. The community was no longer built in. I had to be willing to open myself up in ways I hadn’t done before. For example, starting conversations, finding people to connect with, and being willing to ask for help from complete strangers are all things I had to learn to do.

Today I use these strategies and applied them in a whole new way while building my business. Don’t get me wrong, It has been scary, but worth it in every possible way. I just continue to ask myself the questions I mentioned in the beginning: “Who am I? Where do I belong? and What are my values?” while also continuing to grow in the process.

            The word disability can be scary. There are so many unknowns. For my parents, this was the case. Born at four pounds, two ounces, no one in my family knew what my future was going to be. The first five years of my life were filled with medical equipment, tubes, in-home care from nurses and doctors.

            When I was younger, I was oblivious to what the word disability actually meant. I remember telling my Dad I wanted to be a firefighter when I grew up. Being the father he is, not wanting to crush my dreams he simply said, “Ok, pal go for it.”

 A few years later, I realized my legs would be a challenge to pursue that future career. This was the moment where questions started popping up for me. What does disability really mean? How does it affect me?

            As junior high and high school approached, I  asked myself questions like: where do I fit? Where’s my community? The disabled community has never really been my cup of tea, because in my opinion there’s too much focus on putting everyone in the same box. It wasn’t until after I was well into my college years, I began coming out of my shell by answering these questions on my own.

            Navigating these questions, I had to figure out who Carley really was. I realized being in college for me was more than gaining some independence; it was about building my own community and learning to advocate for myself. It became less about receiving a degree and more about gaining confidence. I graduated from college with a degree in Early Childhood Education but quickly learned getting a job wasn’t going to be so easy.

            Having a disability whether intellectual, or physical (or both) doesn’t always bode well for becoming employed, so I knew going in I’d have issues. However, I truly wasn’t prepared for just how many hurdles there would be.

            Most people have good intentions, but often they don’t follow through. I don’t blame their motives, but at times it’s their ignorance of disabled individuals’ abilities that keeps us handicapped.  By being helpful, they fail to allow us to ‘grow’ into a position by doing most things for us.

I was raised in a family who taught us “sometimes, you just have to pick crap with the chickens” which means it’s not always about what you’d love to do, but more about what you need to get done, so you take the job that gets it done. Continuing to build my resume was important, so I had to find something my body would allow me to do. Taking jobs that were not necessarily in my ‘wheel house’ helped to build new experiences, contacts, and stretched my view of the workforce. I learned far more than I gave—for a time. If you’re wondering what you want to do, or what you are capable of doing, jump out there—give everything a try! Participating in jobs that don’t ‘fit’ will point you toward the jobs that do!

For more indeas, check out Chapter 3 in my book: The Wheel Truth: Don’t Survive–Learn to Thrive!

Have you ever questioned your ability to do something based upon your age, gender, race, or disability? If so, do you know you’re letting society put you in an invisible box? I think sometimes we have these questions and we assume we shouldn’t or we can’t. The truth is we can do anything we put our minds to and are willing to work hard towards. My journey unknowingly put me in a box as well.

            Having a disability gives us as well as others, the opportunity to be put in a box that some people feel is appropriate. One of the boxes, I constantly get put into is the “you have a disability so your life must be horrible” box. I’ve had complete strangers come up to me and ask if they can pray for me. They don’t even ask me for my name, they just start praying. This drives me insane because my life is SO far from horrible, but people don’t take the time to find that out. Do they give themselves a chance to get to know me? No, they just continue to make false assumptions.

            There have been times where building my business has caused me to put myself in my own box. This can be dangerous because I have dreams and goals just like everyone else. I want to feel financial freedom, own my own home, and hopefully raise a family one day, and so much more. Knowing this, I’ve learned to question my abilities in order to avoid the box. Boxing yourself in cheats you and gives society permission to prove society’s point.

            By now, you probably have a couple questions. For instance, what do I do to stay out of the box? What if I’m in the box already, how do I get out? I’ve come to realize staying out of the box and finding your way out of the box are the first important steps advocating for yourself. The value of this lesson is immeasurable. What you want and need is important. Advocating for yourself can be hard, but it needs to be done. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn this until well into my college years. It’s also important to remember that finding out what your goals and interests are become vital to others NOT putting you in a box. Once you find those two things, you need to find a community that supports what you desire for your life. Lastly, you must know that pleasing everyone in your life is impossible and the decisions you make are exactly that, YOUR decisions no one else’s.

For more tips and thoughts on getting rid of the box, check out chapter 1 of my book: The Wheel Truth: Don’t Survive-Learn to Thrive!