The word disability can be scary. There are so many unknowns. For my parents, this was the case. Born at four pounds, two ounces, no one in my family knew what my future was going to be. The first five years of my life were filled with medical equipment, tubes, in-home care from nurses and doctors.
When I was younger, I was oblivious to what the word disability actually meant. I remember telling my Dad I wanted to be a firefighter when I grew up. Being the father he is, not wanting to crush my dreams he simply said, “Ok, pal go for it.”
A few years later, I realized my legs would be a challenge to pursue that future career. This was the moment where questions started popping up for me. What does disability really mean? How does it affect me?
As junior high and high school approached, I asked myself questions like: where do I fit? Where’s my community? The disabled community has never really been my cup of tea, because in my opinion there’s too much focus on putting everyone in the same box. It wasn’t until after I was well into my college years, I began coming out of my shell by answering these questions on my own.
Navigating these questions, I had to figure out who Carley really was. I realized being in college for me was more than gaining some independence; it was about building my own community and learning to advocate for myself. It became less about receiving a degree and more about gaining confidence. I graduated from college with a degree in Early Childhood Education but quickly learned getting a job wasn’t going to be so easy.
Having a disability whether intellectual, or physical (or both) doesn’t always bode well for becoming employed, so I knew going in I’d have issues. However, I truly wasn’t prepared for just how many hurdles there would be.
Most people have good intentions, but often they don’t follow through. I don’t blame their motives, but at times it’s their ignorance of disabled individuals’ abilities that keeps us handicapped. By being helpful, they fail to allow us to ‘grow’ into a position by doing most things for us.
I was raised in a family who taught us “sometimes, you just have to pick crap with the chickens” which means it’s not always about what you’d love to do, but more about what you need to get done, so you take the job that gets it done. Continuing to build my resume was important, so I had to find something my body would allow me to do. Taking jobs that were not necessarily in my ‘wheel house’ helped to build new experiences, contacts, and stretched my view of the workforce. I learned far more than I gave—for a time. If you’re wondering what you want to do, or what you are capable of doing, jump out there—give everything a try! Participating in jobs that don’t ‘fit’ will point you toward the jobs that do!
For more indeas, check out Chapter 3 in my book: The Wheel Truth: Don’t Survive–Learn to Thrive!
