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            The word disability can be scary. There are so many unknowns. For my parents, this was the case. Born at four pounds, two ounces, no one in my family knew what my future was going to be. The first five years of my life were filled with medical equipment, tubes, in-home care from nurses and doctors.

            When I was younger, I was oblivious to what the word disability actually meant. I remember telling my Dad I wanted to be a firefighter when I grew up. Being the father he is, not wanting to crush my dreams he simply said, “Ok, pal go for it.”

 A few years later, I realized my legs would be a challenge to pursue that future career. This was the moment where questions started popping up for me. What does disability really mean? How does it affect me?

            As junior high and high school approached, I  asked myself questions like: where do I fit? Where’s my community? The disabled community has never really been my cup of tea, because in my opinion there’s too much focus on putting everyone in the same box. It wasn’t until after I was well into my college years, I began coming out of my shell by answering these questions on my own.

            Navigating these questions, I had to figure out who Carley really was. I realized being in college for me was more than gaining some independence; it was about building my own community and learning to advocate for myself. It became less about receiving a degree and more about gaining confidence. I graduated from college with a degree in Early Childhood Education but quickly learned getting a job wasn’t going to be so easy.

            Having a disability whether intellectual, or physical (or both) doesn’t always bode well for becoming employed, so I knew going in I’d have issues. However, I truly wasn’t prepared for just how many hurdles there would be.

            Most people have good intentions, but often they don’t follow through. I don’t blame their motives, but at times it’s their ignorance of disabled individuals’ abilities that keeps us handicapped.  By being helpful, they fail to allow us to ‘grow’ into a position by doing most things for us.

I was raised in a family who taught us “sometimes, you just have to pick crap with the chickens” which means it’s not always about what you’d love to do, but more about what you need to get done, so you take the job that gets it done. Continuing to build my resume was important, so I had to find something my body would allow me to do. Taking jobs that were not necessarily in my ‘wheel house’ helped to build new experiences, contacts, and stretched my view of the workforce. I learned far more than I gave—for a time. If you’re wondering what you want to do, or what you are capable of doing, jump out there—give everything a try! Participating in jobs that don’t ‘fit’ will point you toward the jobs that do!

For more indeas, check out Chapter 3 in my book: The Wheel Truth: Don’t Survive–Learn to Thrive!

Have you ever questioned your ability to do something based upon your age, gender, race, or disability? If so, do you know you’re letting society put you in an invisible box? I think sometimes we have these questions and we assume we shouldn’t or we can’t. The truth is we can do anything we put our minds to and are willing to work hard towards. My journey unknowingly put me in a box as well.

            Having a disability gives us as well as others, the opportunity to be put in a box that some people feel is appropriate. One of the boxes, I constantly get put into is the “you have a disability so your life must be horrible” box. I’ve had complete strangers come up to me and ask if they can pray for me. They don’t even ask me for my name, they just start praying. This drives me insane because my life is SO far from horrible, but people don’t take the time to find that out. Do they give themselves a chance to get to know me? No, they just continue to make false assumptions.

            There have been times where building my business has caused me to put myself in my own box. This can be dangerous because I have dreams and goals just like everyone else. I want to feel financial freedom, own my own home, and hopefully raise a family one day, and so much more. Knowing this, I’ve learned to question my abilities in order to avoid the box. Boxing yourself in cheats you and gives society permission to prove society’s point.

            By now, you probably have a couple questions. For instance, what do I do to stay out of the box? What if I’m in the box already, how do I get out? I’ve come to realize staying out of the box and finding your way out of the box are the first important steps advocating for yourself. The value of this lesson is immeasurable. What you want and need is important. Advocating for yourself can be hard, but it needs to be done. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn this until well into my college years. It’s also important to remember that finding out what your goals and interests are become vital to others NOT putting you in a box. Once you find those two things, you need to find a community that supports what you desire for your life. Lastly, you must know that pleasing everyone in your life is impossible and the decisions you make are exactly that, YOUR decisions no one else’s.

For more tips and thoughts on getting rid of the box, check out chapter 1 of my book: The Wheel Truth: Don’t Survive-Learn to Thrive!

Stories can impact our lives in ways that are unforeseen whether it’s your own story, or someone else’s. I believe any story has miles of power whether it shows up right away or somewhere down the road. The only question I have for you is are you telling yours? There are many reasons a story should be told. Here are the top three reasons I’ve learned to tell mine.

Your Story Matters

            Truthfully, I haven’t always wanted to tell my story because the word “inspiration” gets tossed into the conversation almost instantly. I want to make an impact in others’ lives, but not for the reasons you may think. My friends and I, in the disability community, might be labeled an “inspiration” just for breathing. Now, I do have friends that use certain tools to help them breathe, but it’s just part of their story and they’re grateful for those things that help them. For me, I hope I can teach and show others that story matters beyond their circumstances and it’s what we do within those circumstances that makes our story matter.

Your Story Does Make An Impact

            Even when we think our story won’t have an impact, our story determines the power. I remember when I was little I was one of the few children with a disability that attended public school. Through some of my experiences, the staff, my parents, as well as myself learned there had to be some major changes. Unfortunately, some of these changes took place after I graduated from high school, but I take pride in being a pioneer and helping pave the way for future students when it comes to accessibility. This wouldn’t have happened had my story not had an impact.

Make Sure You’re The One Telling Your Story

I’ve come to realize the importance of YOU telling your story. Now, I’m NOT saying you shouldn’t listen to ideas, or take suggestions from others about the direction of your story, but you’re the writer, so make sure the chapters align with the story you want to be told. The chapters may change and that’s ok, however always remember you’re the author!